Every New Beginning Comes from Some Other Beginning's End

Song of the moment: Beautiful- India Arie
Dose of amusement: this is one of my life goals, mmm tango threesome
Foucault quote of the day: "Do not ask who I am and do not ask me to remain the same."

Well my friends, I managed to make it home safe and sound and ridiculously jet-lagged last night. Not sleeping for 27 hours is rather rough. Despite being exhausted I could hardly sleep, my poor body is so so confused. Oh the joys of jetlag.

My 17 hrs of travel began at the lovely hr of 5 am. I had to take a cab to the train station and to get to the gate where the cab was meeting me I had to walk across the entire grounds in pitch black. It was absolutely creepy, there was only a slight bit of moonlight and I could barely see a foot in front of me. I just looked up at the stars for comfort, they were beautiful. Oh how I miss them in Chicago.

Then I took the train to Paris. By sheer luck I wasn't sitting in anyone's seat. There were 3 different numbers on my ticket and I had no friggin clue how to figure out what they were telling me. The cars were labeled 51-60 and 60-71, every other car. I had a 68 on my ticket so I got on a 60-71 car but then I couldn't find the row or seat. I honestly thought I was on drugs, but I swear the row numbers are in no particular order either ascending or descending. There would be 2, 28, 10, 42. It was insane. Plus if every other car was 60-71 and there were 20 cars total how was I supposed to know which one my seat was on? So, boggled by the fact that even though numbers were the same in english and french I still managed to be confused I sat down by a lady who looked like she wouldn't bite and hoped for the best. It panned out okay.

Next was the metro. Oh the joys of the metro. I couldn't mess up the first metro because I was at the end of the line, so any train I hopped on took me in the right direction. I liked those odds. The next train was rough with 6 different options for the same colored line. Having to carry my suitcase up and down over 150 stairs amidst hundreds of rush-hour Parisians, due to broken escalators, to make this precarious decision was indeed a good time. Fortunately, I got the courage to just ask one of the many soilders who were at the metro station keeping order or something and he pointed me in the right direction. Go my poor but sufficient french! The train was only labeled with numbers so when it came I just hopped on it and hoped for the best. It was an express train apparently and took me straight to the airport. An amusing strike of luck. The most amusing thing was that 5 different people asked me in french how to get me to the airport. Even the natives can't figure it out! Ha!

Once at the airport I had to go to 4 different checkpoints BEFORE I got to security, asking me questions about the contents of my bags. One woman even asked me to name the brand of my hairspray. Fortunately, I left my nuclear weapons at home and eventually collapsed at my gate with two hours to spare and a sigh of relief. I'm proud I finally figured the public transportation thing out.

After 8 hrs of a screaming child sitting next to me (and you know how much I hate children, but the Abbey has inspired this zen like state and I actually didn't even say anything or get that upset, it was a miracle. watching ryan gosling also helped :p) and the hell that is U.S. customs I welcomed myself back into the U.S. with a potbelly's chocolate shake to kill the time I had before my last flight. And now here I sit, glad to be home in CO.

The experience still feels like it could have all been a dream. I seemed to suddenly fall into another world for almost two weeks, struggle, grow, and return relatively unscathed and slightly transformed. I know this all seems foolish because it was such a short trip, but sometimes the best things come in small packages. This has been a really rough summer and the trip was exactly what the doctor ordered. It's crazy to think I just hap-hazardly threw myself into another country and in the process learned a lot about the philosopher I love and about myself. I now have a new appreciation and understanding for everyone who studied abroad. Not that I didn't before, but to go for a mere two weeks and realize what a life changing experience my short trip was, I can't imagine how phenomenal a whole quarter must have been. Kudos to you kids.

It is so empowering to remember, as good ole Leibniz is famous for saying, that we live in a world of infinite possible worlds. There are endless worlds out there and endless possibilities. Of course money is always a catch but to think that in 24 hours you could wake up in a different world and a different life is an exciting thing. Regardless of what happens in our immediate world there are infinite worlds in which we can grow and explore. If everything seems lost, it is necessary to remember what a small piece of the actual world that is. To know that I can go to a completely foreign place, not speak a word, and yet somehow find profound happiness is an amazing thing. I know have the confidence that I can go to a completely different world and survive and adapt. The world is my oyster.

Perhaps this trip was like the man and the mailbox, it was great and inspiring because I so badly needed and wanted it to be. Regardless, it was and I feel much happier, stronger, and smarter because of it. Somewhere in a foreign place, maybe in the garden, far away from everything I know, I found a piece of me that had been missing. Hopefully I'll let my renewed passion for exploration and learning be my refuge and my reminder to live for the moment in the upcoming year. Sometimes we have to go far away to find a source of happiness and strength that has been in us all along.

Well, that is my semi-sappy close. This has been a phenomenal experience which I am so fortunate to have had. More importantly, I am so blessed to have such wonderful people to share it with. I didn't put this up on facebook or anything like that because I knew it would be an immense opportunity to learn and grow and I wanted to share that personal experience only with those I truly care about. I would honestly put myself in front of a truck for each and every one of you kids. Thanks for your love, support, and the willingness to read more about my trip than you would probably ever care to. I hope it at least put a smile on your face or brought you a tad of amusement.

With that, I sign of on what will be my last and final entry. Tragic, I know. But I have faith you will survive and youtube is always an unending source of entertainment if you should need some consolation. What a great journey this has been, but I'm confident it's only the beginning. Here's to a great senior year! Au revoir!

I once was lost but now am found, was blind but now I see...

Song of the moment: Breakaway- Kelly Clarkson
Dose of amusement: this is sweeeeet. so is this.
Foucault quote of the day: "Stones can make people knowable and docile."

Wow.

Yeah that sums it up. I just can't believe I'm going home tomorrow. Or actually in 8 hrs to be more specific. Today has reminded me of oh how much I hate saying goodbye.

Fortunately my last day of research was immensely productive. I finished going through everything I needed before lunch so I got to enjoy the afternoon listening to a few lectures for fun. Haha yes, I know I'm a huge dork, but what a once in a life time opportunity this is. A free trip to see the world's largest archives for my favorite philosopher? And as fate would have it, I actually stumbled upon some stuff that is quite helpful on accident in those lectures, so everything was fantastic. After studying, I paid my bill and organized to have a cab pick me up in the morning (at 6 am...dread).

It was sad leaving the library, honestly I wish you could see it in person. Its one of the most inspiring places I've been to, you feel more scholarly from the moment you enter. Then I spent the rest of the evening until dinner sitting in the garden, reading, and reflecting. I couldn't have thought of a more perfect way to draw a close to my stay here.

Dinner was fantastic and occurred in french, english, italian, and spanish. So I was 2 and 2 for the night, not bad. But it was phenomenal. Everyone was so kind and the conversation was just miraculous, one of the best I've had in my life. It has been a gift to be surrounded by some of the best Foucault minds in the world. We all exchanged emails and then I spoke with the British woman for another hour after and she cried when we said goodbye! I couldn't believe it. It made me cry too. Even though I had only known her for a few days we seemed to connect instantly. She said I was like a daughter to her. Who would have ever thought I could come half way around the world, and in but a week and a half meet some of the most beautiful souls I have met in my life? Amazing.

Well, I think my title about sums things up. I feel like another woman, a more enlightened and happier woman. But I will save a sappy sentimental email for when I return. I have 12 hrs on a plane and 3 hrs of public transportation (which will hopefully go much more smoothly than the first time :p) so I need my sleep. I arrive at 8 pm mountain time tomorrow and I will write one last email as a reflection on my trip after I have recovered with some much needed sleep on friday. Yes this is the warning that the last email will be introspective and cheesy, but such is life. I figure it will be less so if I get a little sleep before writing it.

Well please keep me in your thoughts as I travel tomorrow and thank you all for you love and support. I'm so lucky to have such wonderful friends. I didn't put this up on facebk or anything because I knew it would be a big experience in my life despite it's short duration and I wanted to share it with the people I care about most. So thank you for letting me do so. I would honestly put myself in front of a bus for any one of you kids. Well home here I come...


...grace has brought me safe thus far and grace will lead me home...au revoir!

My words are but dreams, nothing more...

Song of the moment: In this Life- Chantal Kreviazuk
Dose of amusement: this my friends is a slightly old but interesting article, because it hits close to home and it raises some really interesting questions about scientific ethics, gender ethics, gender theory, political correctness and where they all intersect. we should all talk about this in person sometime.
Foucault quote of the day: There are volumes and volumes of books about desire...but when people want to speak about pleasure they become mute...that’s too bad! *hysterical laughter*

The title of this post is one of my favorite Sartre quotes from Nausea. It's a fantastic book, is short and is fiction and you should definitely read it some time. Anywho, that's my plug.

Sadly this email will be a bit on the short side because I sat in a library all day. I know, I'm such a party animal. But actually it was glorious. I've finished reading most of what I need to, although I will have a decently full day ahead of me tomorrow. I think that when I leave thursday I will know everything there is to know about my topic, seriously. So today I sat, staring at the beautiful Abbey ceiling and listening to Foucault lectures. The above quote was one of my favorites. He's quite the amusing guy. Once I started to laugh and didn't catch myself entirely in and everyone looked at me. Oh well, it was worth it and everyone already thinks I'm the silly American girl so no harm done.

The highlight of today certainly was my continued communication break through. The British woman is absolutely wonderful. I think we talked for a total of 5 hrs today and it was just amazing, the kind of intellectual stimulation one can only dream of. Plus it was spiced up with hilarious British expressions like "coot" i told him he could "stuff it" and of course "bloody hell." Intense philosophic convos spiced with humor is intellectual intercourse at its finest. I also discovered another librarian speaks spanish so I'm definitely in! It's so sad that I'm discovering all these wonderful people last minute, but rather late than never.

As I approach my last day I'm kind of torn. I really long to go home and am home sick for familiarity, but at the same time this has been such a phenomenal experience (at times phenomenally frightening, but still worth it). For two weeks I was able to taste what it's like to be a doctoral student and despite that thought of the future I think I have been able to live more for the moment than I ever have in my life.

The insightful Sam Goldstein (aka vagsam) after observing that I'm one who worries about things years ahead of time and is a compulsive planner, said that that's why I must love dance so much because it is my time to really live for the moment. How right she is. It's all about that moment and that song. You can just be, there, with the music, and that is more than enough. That moment is totally in and of itself. I can just dance and be. Happiness realized instead of something I'm looking for in the future. I guess in that sense, this week and a half has been a dance for me. Perhaps not all enjoyable but it was very much so in the moment. For once I was able to forget about the difficult year we have ahead, foolish personal things, and just be about myself, my studies, and a bit of my own enlightenment. I found my happiness in understanding someone for the first time, my books, the garden.

On that bit of a sentimental note I leave you with this thought experiment (sorry I'm so full of them these days...and perhaps always :p). Imagine yourself without a future or with out a past. The only thing you know about yourself and this world is what you have at this very moment.

Suddenly, although you are standing in the same place and you look the same, you are living in another world. Its funny how past and present events, illusionary things which have come or will come somehow dictate the right now. A mere thought changes your very essence and current state. The past and present are but stories and I leave you with Sartre's challenge from Nausea upon this realization:

This is what I thought: for the most banal event to become an adventure, you must (and this is enough) begin to recount it. This is what fools people: a man is always a teller of tales, he lives surrounded by his stories and the stories of others, he sees everything that happens to him through them; and he tries to live his own life as if he were telling a story. But you have to choose: live or tell.

Live or tell, that is the question. Living for the moment, takes more courage than living for the future.

Well my friends, welcome to the world of my thoughts. I'm going to leave you with that and take a break by eating coconut ice cream which is to my delight wildly popular here in france (it's my favorite!) and watching a movie I will deny because it will undermine the credibility of anything I've written.

Also as a note- I just wanted to thank all of you who have given me such kind an insightful comments on my ramblings. To be a philosopher in the words of my advisor Mark Sheldon is to as questions everyone else is afraid to ask, to ask why something is the way it is when everyone else merely assumes its cause. In that respect, as brilliant individuals, you would all make brilliant philosophers. So if you would ever like to talk philosophy with me, I promise to leave my theory, thesis, and knowledge of specific authors at the door and we can just talk about questions like this and then we are all on the same page, honestly. These questions are interesting and exciting and no one needs experience to ask or discuss them. Good night!

Crepes, Castles, and Cute Shoes oh my!

Song of the moment: (and one of my fav songs ever) Body Pillow- Atmosphere
Dose of amusement: Sadly I'm related to this one. But after these videos I deny that he's my brother. (you only need to watch the firsr 20 secs of the second one cause it's repeated)
Foucault quote of the day: The lyricism of marginality may find inspiration in the image of the ''outlaw,'' the great social nomad, who prowls on the confines of a docile, frightened order.

Okay, I'm going to kick things off with the best and most impressive part of my day, what I ate today:

Ham and cheese baguette
Choclate Eclair
Ham and cheese croissant
Ham, cheese, and egg crepe
Dessert crepe with mint ice cream, chocolate, and almonds

If I come back heavier it will be the most worth wile thing I've done :p Actually the list is long because I found out last minute that I was eating dinner with my french friends and had already eaten a partial dinner. I've trained myself to abandon my old lady eating at 5:30 ways and bumped it back to 7 or 7:30 but 8:30 is still rough. Any who...to the actual events of the day, even though my gluttonous ramblings are entertaining I'm sure.

Today I was woken up prematurely by some construction conveniently occurring outside my window, this coming after I had stayed up until 2 doing work made it all the more unwelcome. Regardless, I took the opportunity to get an early start on my day of exploration! I hopped on the bus and was off to explore Caen. I'm quite proud of myself because I finally have the buses figured out a least *knock on wood that I won't mess things up on the way home.* First I saw the castle of William the Conqueror, who founded the city of Caen. The castle is right smack dab in the middle of the city and tons of shops and restaurants just seem to fall in place around it. A majority of the pics I've attached are of the castle, and the one with the cathedral is the St. Pierre Cathedral from the view on the top of the castle.

Then I walked around the city and shopped and ate. Sadly the shopping part didn't go to well, in fact I didn't buy a single thing. It turns out most shops aren't open on mondays in Caen, I missed the memo on that one, and the only ones that were really open were pharmacies and really really expensive boutiques. Sadly, a plain tank top for $80 isn't in my price range. I still had fun looking though, the clothing was beautiful, and I compensated by getting dessert :)

Next, I went the WWII memorial, which is seen in the remaining pictures above. Seeing the exhibit cost over $30 for students, man I'm just getting out priced today, so I decided to wander around the beautiful gardens around it instead. Ooo and I almost forgot, I was mistaken for a french person today, sadly it was by british tourists, so it wasn't too legit. But I was in a store and in broken french (which was as pathetic as i'm sure my own must be) they told me they don't speak french but pointed to something on a map as if to ask for directions. I just smiled and sadly didn't have enough french under my belt to pull off the act. Oh well, at least I don't visually stick out like a sore thumb. I'm french as long as I don't speak :P

Overall, I consider the day to be quite a success, I managed to successfully navigate public transportation and see all the sights in Caen. I returned to do some work, seriously I've been a machine here. My evening then concluded with the quite sad parting with my french friends. I took them out to dinner to thank them for all of their kindness. The great thing about having two people from the area take you out to dinner is that they know the best place to go! It was the best crepe place ever, better than I could have imagined. We ate crepes, drank famous normandy cider, and talked about culture, life, and the future. It was indeed a beautiful thing. The funny thing is that the restaurant was english-friendly and had poor english translations of the food on the menu. And the one dessert crepe I wanted happened to be the only thing on the entire menu who's title was in english "the 5'oclock." Don't let the terrible name deceive you though: mint ice cream, chocolate, almonds, and whipped cream on a crepe is heaven. Ehoran and his gf teased me, asking if I was getting it because it was the only thing I could pronounce. To prove them wrong, I asked for the bill and talked with the waiter a bit in french after they had coaxed me into doing so. Saying goodbye was such a sad thing. Even though I only knew them for a few days they really took me under their wings, no questions asked, and were so warm and caring. What a blessing. And all of this at their last weekend at home, before moving to Paris. Words cannot possibly express my gratitude. This really has been a monumental experience for me, partly thanks to them, and I will never forget them and that gift.

In other, less sentimental news, after tonight, I have the kiss kiss thing down which I'm quite stoked about. So if anyone would like to greet me that way, I will accept. Also, I'm no longer alone at the abbey! Today to people, who speak english came! I met the first, an Italian man also studying Foucault as I was running to the store. I saw him and did my usual "Bonjour" and then lowered my head so as to avoid further conversation. And he said "Hi!" And I was like, wait...I understand that...was my bonjour really that bad? It turns out the woman Estelle who works in the office told him that I'm studying Foucault as well and that he should talk to me because I've been lonely all week! It was so sweet of her and he and I had a great chat. I can't wait to finally talk Foucault with someone! Joy! The other scholar is a cute woman, originally from the UK but now studying in Capetown. I saw her in the kitchen and she started to greet me in french. I dismally replied "I don't speak french" in french to which she said "Oh well bloody hell then...good, we can speak in english." Heaven love the brits. Even more impressive is that she read articles by our very own mr. david spett which he wrote on tm in capetown! What a small world huh?

Well I am deathly tired and stuffed with good food, so it's off to bed for me. I need strength and strong french coffee to get me through 8 + hrs at the library tomorrow.

Shun the non believers, shuuunnnn....

Song of the moment: Acoustic #3- Goo Goo Dolls
Dose of amusement: Look, a leoplurodon! (enjoy if you haven't seen it already)
Foucault quote of the day: Chance does not speak essentially through words nor can it be seen in their convolution. It is the eruption of language, its sudden appearance. It's not a night twinkle with stars, an illuminated sleep, nor a drowsy vigil. It is the very edge of consciousness.

Today was a ridiculously uneventful yet productive day. I worked all day long so I can go explore Caen tomorrow, it's my goal to see William the Conqueror's Castle, the WWII memorial, and to shop of course! I did most of my reading in the garden which was absolutely beautiful and peaceful. Despite the looming stress of the year ahead, sitting in that garden with nothing but sunshine, philosophy, and flowers life seems so much simpler. I guess sometimes we have to get away from our self to return to our self.

Since I pathetically have nothing else to report for the day I'm going to go back on my word, yep you heard it here first. I promised I wouldn't talk philosophy again, well I lied. Whoops, don't you hate it when that happens. But this won't be a long rant of any sorts, just 3 random existential interjections, some food for thought. So many of you were so kind about my thesis, that I figure you can forgive me.

Being alone this weekend, although today I was joined today by a choir group of some sorts (it's 4 people who are staying here and singing in a room. Random.), has put me in a more existential mood than normal. Here's what's on my mind:

1) I'd like to share with you a bit of a thought experiment that my thesis advisor shared with me on the first day of our Existentialism freshman seminar that forever impacted my world view and caused me to have one of those cliched moments: on the first day of class I knew I wanted to be a philosophy major. Here it is:

She told us that she had a neighbor, and every day this neighbor would go outside early in the morning and put a letter in his mailbox. Then, later that same afternoon, he would return to his mailbox and would be astonished at what he had found: a letter had written to himself.

She then went on to say that we are ALL that man. We all put meaning into the world and then are delighted at the meaning which we have found.

Damn.

If you think about it, it makes a lot of sense. It really isn't that profound either, but until it's brought to your attention, it's something you never really think about. There's nothing inherently beautiful about mountains or my cute pink blog, we determine whether or not we like something or think it is beautiful. That is why everyone has different opinions, the same fruit will be sweet to one and bitter to another. Here my friends is the existential crisis: you awake to find yourself in a world which has no meaning. Objects, your actions, you = meaningless. However, I actually find it empowering because we have the power to interpret and give meaning to the world around us. You can always choose how you insert meaning into the world.

Okay, that was a brief intro to existentialism. If you're interested it's better we do coffee than I continue.

2) I wrote this a yr ago, but it's def my fav. existential passage thus far. I think you'll enjoy it.

3) Writing this blog makes me such a being-for-others, sartre would def hate me. That is Sartrean terminology which means that I am viewing my existence through and for the perception of others. Instead of simply being and creating meaning in the world, I see myself an object of the perception of others. Even though a blog is an obvious example of this, it inevitably occurs through small acts every day. Regardless, I have put a smile on your face it's worth it :p

Well those are my random mental wanderings. My apologies if they're incoherent, I just wanted to throw some ideas out instead of give a comprehensive description, cause heaven knows that would take ages.

Attached are some random pics of the grounds around the Abbey. The first pic is interesting because if you look closely you'll notice it's a part of the building that hasn't been renovated and still has original damage from world war II. It's also part of the building i'm staying in. It gives it that rustic feel :p Au revoir, I'll write after tomorrow's explorations!

The old lie: dulce et decorum est pro patria mori...

Song of the moment: The General- Dispatch
Dose of amusement: I'm hot cause i'm fly, you ain't cause you not
Foucault quote of the day: The strategic adversary is fascism... the fascism in us all, in our heads and in our everyday behavior, the fascism that causes us to love power, to desire the very thing that dominates and exploits us.

Being at the d-day beaches today really made me think of that poem. But before I give you the run down on that, first things first, last night!

Last night my chef friend Ehoarn picked me up and took me out with his friends, it was a ton of fun. We went to this place to play pool, but it wasn't skecthy like in the US. When I think of pool in the US I think biker bars and all that, but this was all ages and they had dessert. It was pretty cool. His girlfriend (that's right his girlfriend for all of you who have been asking if I'd hook up with him, no!!!) and another of his friends spoke english so it was really nice. The rest didn't so we couldn't really talk but it's okay I don't think they teased me too badly and I was able to understand some of what they were saying. Then we went to the beach, which was actually one of the beaches from d-day, but basically all of the beaches on the coast of northern france are. I don't know how to explain it but his friends were all really goofy, when we got to the beach there were hills of sand and they were rolling around and then jumped in the water. They're my age so I was a bit confused by their behavior and some of what they were saying which seemed to indicate they were younger, but that's boys these days huh ladies? :p It was so nice to see the city at night and to get a little taste of the life there, so I was immensely grateful to him for befriending me no questions asked.

The only draw back of the night was that in France, and many european countries, the way girls say goodbye to everyone is to do the kiss kiss thing. I was petrified. So I had to go down a long line (8 people!!!) and basically kiss everyone goodbye, it was so awkward. Fortunately, my friend's girlfriend had given me the down low on how to properly greet someone and say goodbye. When I met her, without thinking I foolishly went to shake her hand, it's just a habit and I know that women don't shake hands to greet eachother in France, and I scared her. It was kind of funny, but I felt bad. Attached is a pic of the two of them, Ehoarn and his gf, upon lauren's request.

Then today they took me to the beaches, sadly we couldn't go to the american beaches and the cemetery because they were too far away and they both are moving to paris on monday so they couldn't spend the whole day. I just can't believe how nice they were, it was their last weekend at home and here they are spending it with me. Part of me feels guilty for being close and not going, but for me to go on my own would cost $100 in cab fairs because buses don't run on the weekend and even when they do during the week it's terribly difficult. Regardless, I'm glad to have gotten a taste of the beaches and i'll have to come back someday. Anywho, so we went to Gold Beach instead, which was where primarily british troops deployed on d-day. Visiting the beaches reaffirmed that I am not a history buff, but I do remember the basics.

Many people have told me that the beaches have a very eerie feeling and that you have a sense that many people died even if you didn't know the history. For this beach at least, I didn't find it to be the case. There were tons of houses and shops lining the beach and it seemed no different from any other. Children were even swimming in the water, around some of the remnants of docks or an extended shoreline of sorts built by the troops in world war two because the shore line eroded too easily to anchor ships and what not. (yeah that explanation is coming from ehoarn, clearly I know nothing about war artillery etc) So I'm not sure, however, I think it's impossible to divorce our knowledge of history or really anything else (culture, feelings) from our perceptions of events or places so I'm not sure I can agree with the the people who have told me that. It was also very interesting to get the french perspective. They have grown up near the d-day beaches and take vacations to them on holidays, he said he always forgets that 60 years ago there was a war there with people dying. I have a lot of anti war sentiments that being at the beaches today reaffirmed but I haven't the strength for a rant of that magnitude at the moment. I will say, however, to look down miles and miles of coast and try to envision bodies lining the shore, you can't help but be disgusted that our current foreign policy seems to have learned nothing from a tragedy this profound.

Then we saw a a short war movie in this cool 360 panoramic thing that was supposed to give you the feeling that you were there. It was kind of like IMAX but in a circular fashion. Even though I hate doing touristy things it was pretty cool and I needed it to ground me and remind me of the tragedy and historical significance of the place around me. Ehoarn and I laughed during a good part of it though because it's really funny to watch and to watch other people watching because you constantly have to turn in circles to see everything. Every image and picture was 360 degrees so it was as if you were there and turning in a circle. Technology these days.

On the way back we pulled over by some hitch hikers, and I was like "surely we're not going to pick them up" both because who does that??? and because her car was terribly small and they were terribly not so. But apparently we did, so we pulled over and I spent the rest of the trip with two french people practically in my lap. But it was okay, they seemed to be nice and were very clean and what not, not like what you'd think of in the US. Then Ehoarn's gf and I went to dinner at the only restaurant near the Abbey because Ehoaran had to go to a movie with his mom. The restaurant was sadly an italian place, but it was good none the less.

Sorry my email wasn't terribly exciting but as my trip goes on, I'm becoming more exhausted with every passing day. Attached are pics of a random castle (they are all over the place, one of the many perks of having french guides, they told me about everything that we passed) and then pics from gold beach. the black things in the water are remnants of structures build in WWII, as I mentioned earlier, so they could dock boats and unload artillery because the shore wasn't strong enough to support it.

Well, I bid thee all goodnight. It's a bit lonely here at the Abbey because while I have been metaphorically and linguistically alone all week I am literally alone now. I'm the only person staying here this weekend. It's kind of cool though to pretend I have a castle of sorts to myself. Ever since I was four I wanted to live in a castle, maybe this is as close as I get.

You Can't Stop the Beat!

Song of the moment: Semi-Charmed Life
Dose of amusement: Down with August!
Foucault quote of the day: With these themes of surveillance, and especially in the schools, it seems that control over sexuality becomes inscribed in architecture. In the Military Schools, the very walls speak the struggle against homosexuality and masturbation.

Okay, so maybe I danced to that this morning, maybe I like Hairspray (but hate John Travolta), and maybe I have a crush on Zac Efron (only in hairspray, hs musical is too lame and unattractive, unless you're lauren :p)...they blured out the tongue.

Any who...on a brief technical note, everyone has been telling me that the pics don't work via email and that the email also doesn't have spacing between paras. I'm wretchedly sorry about all of this. I've been trying to fix it, even putting 2 spaces between paras but alas it won't work. (damn you must seriously hate me for that one yesterday if had no spacing!) I think your best bet is just to go to foucaultfosho.blogspot.com and then everything is there all beautiful and um space-y!

Life in my world has been pretty good thus far every day I make small strides which feel like miraculous communication breakthroughs. Last night I got the courage to introduce myself to one of the scholars. French people really don't say hi to you, my friend the chef who speaks english told me that if you want to be included in a conversation you just have to jump in. It took me a while to figure this out, then I realized brand new people at the table who didn't know I didn't speak french (because I hadn't uttered a word in their presence would never say hi to me) wouldn't say a thing to me. Once I started talking to him he was so nice and he speaks some english. I've also found that the harder the subject matter the more cognates there are. So we actually talked about politics, and how the stock market sucks right now in the U.S. it was great! Then after dinner he sang in italian! Since we're in an abby the acoustics are amazing. It was the most random thing, right after dinner the man just bursts out in song upon noticing an echo. Delightful!

Today the guy who was translating Foucault into Chinese, who I mentioned earlier left and I was actually sad to see him go. Over the past couple days we really talked a lot and even though it was really broken little by little we understood each other. I used the really crappy freetranslation.com to write him a goodbye/thank you letter and he was so happy he almost cried! It was so cute. And then I realized that Deleuze (a pretty sweet french philosopher) wrote about Foucault and visibility, kind of like i'm doing in my thesis but much more intensely, and it turns out he translated that book in chinese! So after a whole week of trying we had this huge break through and he understood exactly what I was talking about! We missed an hour of working at the library talking about the projects we're working on. I know that this might sound trivial but when you finally understand someone after a week of trying, about a subject we're both passionate about, it's great! It will never cease to amuse me how many cognates there are in hardcore philosophical vocab. So basically I can discuss Sartre's phenomenology with people, but we can't talk about what we ate for dinner.

The rest of the day was spent researching and then I ventured to the grocery store for dinner. Sadly, the grocery store is no longer my friend. I went at 5, when people had just gotten off of work and it was so crowded and more indimidating. Trying to figure out what things are is immensely immusing, but I have chicken, bread and brie down oh and diet coke with lime. Then on my way home I stopped at this cute little bakery and I got a strawberry tart. It was almost as much as my dinner but it was worth every penny, one of the best things I've eaten. Although not speaking french makes me terribly rude, I just have to point at what I want like a child. :p

Well I must be off because my French friend the chef is taking me out with his friends. He said they all want to meet someone who speaks english. I'm really excited. We're all going for dessert and then to the beach! Attached are pics of the abbey, the outside of where I'm studying! Au revoir!